If I Ever Feel Better

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

I've had a hard year. 
And I've gained a lot of weight. 

I often turn to food when I'm stressed (or sad). 
I'm not even sure it really makes me feel better.
I can tell you now, I regret it

When my cousin died my biggest fear was that one day, I'd forget him. 
I was told that probably wasn't possible. 

It's not. 

I think about him everyday.

At work when I was frustrated, or a wave of sadness enveloped me, I used to go to my friend's office and draw on the whiteboard. 

I created that wacky mountain featured above. 

Things have changed since then and I need to find that type of solace in something else. 

I hope, in the next couple of months, I'm able to feel (and look) more like myself. 
With the recent move is the start of something new.

Here I go. 

*Photograph taken by me. 


Arra A. said...

I can relate on the first statement since I did gain weight, too. I also felt bad a few months ago and had eventually overcome it. That dark shadow that envelopes your life right now will eventually pass and you'll feel better soon. :) I'm hoping that you will :)

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Norbyah said...

something my mum always used to tell us when life overwhelmed us was to just take it 'bird by bird' which comes from a book about writing and life written by anne lamott. i can't imagine the grief you feel, but you will come out of this. and you will always have him with you.

Fash Boulevard said...

Love this!

Unknown said...

I'm sorry you are feeling so down... did I miss something? did your cousin die recently? regardless, it's never easy to lose someone, and when you do, especially someone who is so close to you, you really think about what's important in life. When I was in middle and high school I had a lot of problems, like a lot. I really wasn't well and what really made me feel better was getting myself into a routine of waking up early and going to the gym before school. I still do it to this day... it's 'my time' and I really can get all of my stress, anger, sadness out in my workout. Plus, it gives you an extra little boost and it starts your day off RIGHT! Hope you start feeling better, and will just focus on yourself and healing!

Lady à la Mode

Unknown said...

I hope you start feeling better and getting your swag back! You're gorgeous girl and very brave for posting this. xoxo

MONYALE said...

Gabby! I've went through something similar last year. I had a rough time, it was a bad year for me too.
I learned it was ok to feel sad and it takes time to heal. What helped a lot during this time was to remember her happily and try not to be sad (its super hard but for the best) even though I still miss her a ton.
I think they will always be with us and never forgotten.

My best wishes!

Cassandra Too said...

I am so sorry for your lost! I hope you feel better soon. This will make you stronger. You can do it! :D

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with love, Cassandra xx

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